How to build Healthy Self-Esteem

How to build healthy self-esteem

Sometimes, I wish there could be some shortcut for having everlasting healthy self-esteem but unfortunately, it’s not the case. Our self-esteem gets highly affected by the different circumstances that we confront on regular basis. There are situations which make us feel – I am worthy, I am loved, I am enough, I am deserving. Then on the other hand, there are situations which make us feel completely worthless and unloved. Here I am going to tell how to build healthy self-esteem.


Often times, people think that self-esteem means confidence and of course – confidence is a part of it. But in real, Self-esteem is so much more than mere confidence.  The word “esteem” has been derived from latin vernacular which means – ESTIMATE. So, self-esteem is basically how you estimate yourself. It is how you feel about yourself at any particular moment, be it negative or positive.




Self-esteem comes from

Well, there are many reasons for healthy or unhealthy self-esteem. However, it often starts with our childhood. Experiences of our childhood plays an imperative role in shaping up our self-esteem. The way our immediate family members, friends, near and dear ones treat us have a huge impact on our self-esteem. The way our achievements and failures have been treated by our loved ones give the foundation to our self-esteem.

High Self-esteem – The adults who are blessed with high self-esteem have been given this gift from childhood. Praising a child for accomplishments, listening them, talking respectfully to them, giving attention to them can contribute to high self-esteem. So, if you have a child around you, give them hugs often, make them feel listened and loved.

Low Self-esteem – In case of poor self-esteem, scenario is completely different. Children who often face harsh criticism, ridiculed and teased by the people around them develop low self-esteem. Or domestic violence, disturbing family environment and abuse can also be the contributing factors in their negative self-esteem. These circumstances can leave an ineradicable effect on the children’s mind.


Always hungry to seek approval from others.

Being indecisive even in the midst of simple decisions.

Insecure, anxious and nervous when they are with new people.

Find it difficult to speak up and prioritizing their own wants and feelings.

Feels like they’re not deserving or capable enough.

Try to please other people.

Keep checking phone in social situations.

Often take things personally.

Keep comparing themselves with others.

Think they are not good enough even if they’re doing good.



If you’re the one who has often struggle to develop healthy self-esteem, then welcome to the club. It’s time to release all the past regrets and build a healthy self-esteem. Remember, you can start from scratches anytime, anywhere. So if you’re struggling with low self-esteem, then I have some helpful ways to improve your self-esteem and embrace yourself better –

1.  Identify your strengths

The first step in the process of developing healthy self-esteem is to identify the positive in you. It can be anything – any skills, sports, hobby or activity which feeds positivity and confidence within you. These strengths will help you to feel good about yourself and will make you believe in yourself more. So, on the days when you feel low, these strengths will help you to remind that there is plenty of good in you.

2. Remove toxic people

The next important step is to remove the toxicity from your life. People who always bring you down and makes you feel low don’t deserve a place in your life. But before that, make sure to identify if that person is toxic or it’s just your negative perception about them. Sometimes, we find people toxic out of our own jealousy or insecurities so identify smartly and remove the toxic people. Treat it like a break up with them and cherish peace.

3. Learn to say NO

People with low self-esteem often find it hard to prioritize themselves and saying NO to others. And this is how they ultimately burden themselves with unnecessary tasks that they don’t even want to do. Learn to say respectful NO to others and release yourself from all the unwanted burden and stress. Make to-do list, this will help you to get mental clarity about what you want to do and what not.

Set Goals Take Risks

4. Take Challenges

Low self-esteem never let us believe in ourselves and we often scare to try new things and taking new challenges. But believe me, testing your limits is one of the best way to build your self-esteem. When you’ll take challenges and succeed in them, it will give you a sense of motivation and confidence within you. And even if you fail, you would have still learned and tried something new in this process which you’ve never even thought of doing. That’s a victory too, my love.

5. Stop being a victim

Remember, you’re not alone who is suffering with low self-esteem. The list varies from high ranking government officials to the renowned celebrities to the lower or middle class people. But the key to establishing positive self-esteem is to remember that you can have control over certain situations. Don’t make yourself a victim of every particular situation. You can control your thoughts and change the situations anytime.

6. Take care of your body and mind

By taking physical care, I don’t mean to chase those so called perfect shapes. It means to take care of your health and being internally fit. Poor health habits can add stress to your life and can also affect the way you cope up with stress. Health problems and mental stress can make simple daily tasks even more challenging. So, if you want to build healthy self-esteem, it’s very important to take physical and mental self-care.

About the author


My name is Shweta Thangri. I truly believe that our life is shaped by our thoughts, so I’m here to make change in your lives with my practically acknowledged skills and help you meet your higher self.

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