Self-Care nowadays, is becoming the most popular buzzword which differs from person to person. Some says it is giving yourself a physical pampering with your favorite skin and hair care products, while some say it’s taking yourself to those expensive spa or tropical vacations to attain that mental relief. Sometimes, it seems that there is a whole lifestyle being sold for the sake of self-care. Not only this, the posts of social media also portray carefully curated images of must have products to follow that dream self-care rituals.
Well Darling, let’s break a myth here and find out what does self-care really mean?
Self-Care is not something which needs to be lavish but its sole purpose is to lavish you just by making simple changes in lifestyle. Please don’t misunderstand the concept of self-care with luxury, over self-indulging, time-consuming and expensive. Self-Care can be done by making small changes but remember, these changes are not one-time deal, but it requires constant repetitions of some simple habits which altogether soothe you and make sure you’re at your optimum – emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, socially and practically.
Why do we often fail at self-care?
Undeniably, practicing self-care is not always easy. Most of us are jam-packed in our crazy busy schedules and rest of the time, we are too consumed with the technology. Me-time is usually last on the agenda. And even if we manage time for ourselves out of our tight schedules, the raised standards of self-care do not let us engage in this process and ultimately leads to frustration.
Well guys, I have experienced this sense of frustration for years but then, one day I thought out of box, and discovered that self-care should be a natural state of mind, it is not something which needs to be attained by being too harsh on ourselves. And trust me, I’ve got some really simple tricks to help you embrace yourself and make you a better person. Try these simple practices for the upcoming 30 days, and experience abundance of positivity and blissfulness.
1. Identify your needs
Remember, what works for others will not necessarily work for you. If one finds happiness in traveling, it doesn’t mean that the same will fit to your need. So, start with identifying your needs first. This could be anything – Relaxing, Reading, Cooking, Watching Videos, Practicing Yoga, Physical pampering and so on. Before you indulge in any kind of self-care activity, just ask yourself – What do I really need right now? Make sure to engage yourself in activity which genuinely gives you contentment instead of opting any random monotonous activity for the sake of self-care. Want to go out, what are you waiting for – Just go. Want to relax – Go hit your bed. Want to meet someone – Call them. Want to dress up – Go wear your favorite outfit from your closet. Things are really very easy, but it’s only us who are making it complicated.
Our thoughts can be a great mess sometimes. If we don’t notice them, it can lead to tremendous discomforts and as a result, we start putting our time and energy into the unnecessary thoughts which don’t even need any attention. So what I’m trying to say here is that, invest in your thoughts wisely. Not anything or everything needs your attention. Figure out what is important and what is not. Developing this ability leads to something I call “Practical Enlightenment”. The third point will make it bit easier for you to recognize your thoughts reasonably.
Buddha was asked once, what have you gained from meditation? And he replied I have gained nothing, however let me tell you what I have lost – anger, anxiety, fear of death, insecurity and depression. Meditation is that practice which will not only help you to resolve your temporary issues, but helps to attain long term blissfulness. I’m not saying you to be a pro at meditation, just simply start practicing it every morning before starting your day. Close your eyes, breathe in and out and sit quietly with yourself only for five minutes. This five minute practice will help you to give a positive start to a day and power to respond your thoughts sensibly. Meditation helps to enhance awareness, generates kindness, controls anxiety, promotes emotional health and mindfulness which are the most essential tools in self-care.
4. Positive Self-Talk
Self-Talk is the internal narrative that you hold about yourself and it has a huge influence on the way we see ourselves and the world around us. A negative self-talk can inculcate lack of confidence, low self-esteem, and insecurity within you so learn the art of doing positive self-talk. Well, it’s not the idea of knowing everything or having answers to all your questions but positive self-talk is the process of reframing how you view things, how you remove negative vibes and the way you tackle things. And even if it doesn’t go perfectly, you keep the courage to learn from it instead of feeling broken.
5. Drop Perfectionism
The idea of perfectionism has always been very mundane to me and alongside a biggest barrier in my self-care routine. Now, it might sound lazy to some, but let me clear you one thing here – Perfectionism is the process where a person set higher standards to be flawless, the desire to be accepted by others and the need to succeed at all costs. And unfortunately, a person who strives for perfectionism ends up being more disappointed, negative and demoralized. Free yourself – Free yourself from everything that holds you back, free yourself from the idea of fitting as per the norms of society, free yourself from the things that you can’t change, free yourself from the chase of perfection and be gentle to yourself.
Remember, taking care of others is always easier than taking care of your own self. Sounds weird? But that’s true, I’m not saying you to take out 2-3 hours from your day for self-care, if you can do that – thumbs up but if you can’t manage that much time owing to your busy schedules and responsibilities, then let me remind you – You also deserve to be taken care of. These simple practices will take 7-10 minutes to make you feel yourself better, valued and happy.