Why searching for answers can keep us stuck?

Want to take actions but always busy in finding answers? Have you ever been in the situation where you kept waiting for the perfect timing to start something? Or have you ever avoid doing something because you don’t know the right way to get it done? Have you ever spent weeks in researching about something but never execute it?

Last year in November, one day while journaling, I wrote about how I wanted to learn guitar from so long. But I was always waiting for the perfect timing. And that perfect timing for me was either after getting stability in my career or may be with my partner in future. But then I thought why so? I mean why not today? What is stopping me at this moment? How can I rely on tomorrows to do the things that I badly want to?

Well we all want to get things done “perfectly” but why is that so important? I mean are we afraid of failure or embarrassing ourselves? Because we don’t want to waste our time or money? In this post, I’m going to share about why searching for answers can keep you stuck and why it’s time to create your own answers rather than being busy in searching them.

PROBLEM WITH SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS

Often times, we feel we need to get things done in the perfect manner. And to be honest, I believe there’s nothing wrong with that. Because if you’ll work for perfect, only then you would be motivated enough to put your best efforts and reach near the perfect. But here at the same time, you need to understand that you don’t have to stress over perfection.

If you’ll stress about that you need to achieve perfect only, then you’ll end up creating endless questions for yourself which can even stop you from taking action. You have to understand that every question comes with numerous confusions and if you’ll stress over every little detail, then you would not even be able to take action because there will always be something that will stop you.

If you’ve been doing a lot of research before doing something, waking up late searching for answers to your problems, relying on others to give you advice, then you might be dealing with limiting belief. And this limiting belief will always make you doubt your choices and decisions.

RELATED POST – How to believe in yourself a little more.

working on laptop

I remember before I started giving online classes, how much time I spent in researching about that. I used to spend couple of hours everyday to research the methods of building best email list, ways and means to share the study material, how will I manage the interaction with students and much more. Not only this, I also spent a lot of money on various courses and memberships. Some of those courses helped me while others were not even worth the money and time because may be, I was already aware of those ideas and opinions.

The programs and courses that didn’t helped me were the ones which made me realize that I am doing nothing, but searching for answers only. Those programs didn’t help me because I already knew what I needed to do. The only problem here was the limiting belief which was not letting me take action. I was lacking the belief in my own ideas and this is why, I was relying on other tools.

REASONS YOU’RE UNABLE TO TAKE ACTIONS

Undeniably, there’s no harm in taking other people’s advice. But you need to understand that you should not be following someone’s advice blindly because advices that worked out for others will not necessarily work for you. Or maybe it doesn’t align with your values or priorities. Remember, we have answers to all our questions inside us, but all we need to do is to uncover that. Here’s where the disappointments come from and stop you from taking actions.

three reasons you're unable to take actions

Unqualified advice

Well lots of people comes up with their own advices, especially in our Indian society. When you’re taking advice from others, first thing that you need to keep in mind is not to follow it blindly. Make sure if that person is really your well-wisher. Analyze if that person is really understanding what you’re feeling at the moment. Consider if they’ve ever been through whatever you’re dealing with. Sometimes, we rely on other people’s advice because maybe they are successful, elder or doing good in their life. But remember, what work for others will not necessarily work for you. You need to strengthen your own self-belief.

Read this if you want “Unstoppable confidence“.

Misaligned advice

Sometimes, we take advices from others but we end up feeling disappointed with that piece of advice. Does it happen to you?  Well it’s because of that fact that advices that other people offer us sometimes do not align with our values or priorities. No matter how successful or mature enough they are, their methods might not align with your values. And when that happens, it’s normal to feel like you’re not good or capable enough.

Related Post – How to define your top priorities and values.

Forced Answers

When we try to force ourselves to find answers, then it’s easy to feel even more frustrated or confused. Sometimes, it’s important to give yourself space from whatever is going on and take a pause. If you’ll keep searching for answers from multiple sources, then you might overwhelm yourself which can push you away from the answers that you’re trying to find. This forced behavior takes away your motivation and you’ll find it hard to know where to start.

Related Post – How to stay positive when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

HOW TO CREATE YOUR OWN ANSWERS

writing journal

Always busy in searching for answers rather than creating it? Just think about what you can do at this situation without relying on digital advices or others. What would be your plan if all you could do is relying on your own ideas? Here’s my guide to create your own answers when you feel stuck.

Analyze the circumstance

The first thing that you need to do is to analyze the situation. Recognize what’s the whole scenario. Analyze if it’s really worth your time and energy or you’re just overthinking? Don’t think too much here, just try to have a look at that particular situation with a calm mind.

Question yourself

Once you analyze the circumstances, it’s time to ask yourself some forward moving questions. Say for example, if you’re feeling stressed, you need to ask yourself – Why am I feeling stressed at this moment? What is bothering me so much and why? Am I really bothered about it or I’m just creating mounts of stress by overthinking? What can I do to feel better? How can I make this situation better? Asking questions help us to cultivate self-awareness within us and taking confident decisions.

Read this to know why self-awareness is your most powerful tool.

Write it down

Take a blank paper and pen and start writing answers. Why I’m telling you to write here. Because writing your thoughts will give you more clarity about whatever is going on in your head. When you jot down the things on paper and reflect upon it, it actually helps you to realize that how many thoughts out of them were unnecessary or a piece of overthinking. If you’ll sit and think about the answers in your head only, you might end up creating mixed feelings or confusions. So writing is the key here.

Plan and Implement

Now that you’ve got the clear picture of what you really want out of any particular circumstance and why, it’s time to look upon “HOW” you’re going to achieve it. For example, we talked about mental stress in the second point. So, setting aside some time for self-care is the key to achieve mental peace. It can include meditation, journal writing, mindfulness practices and whatever that calms your mind. So, depending upon your situation, recognize what can work for you.

SHOULD YOU STOP TAKING ADVICE FROM OTHERS COMPLETELY?

Well there are people out there who are incredibly wise and judicious. And they can help you to get ahead in life but my concern here is that rather than listening and relying on someone’s advice blindly, tweak their advice to work it for you. Recognize if it aligns with your priorities and values.

About the author

Shweta

My name is Shweta Thangri. I truly believe that our life is shaped by our thoughts, so I’m here to make change in your lives with my practically acknowledged skills and help you meet your higher self.

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